another day, another pregnancy announcement

I love Monday pregnancy announcements, it really sets the tone for my whole week! This one in particular makes me feel, infertile. She and I were pregnant with our firsts together and since then she has had one more and is now due in October, she will have perfected her family of three before I can even get pregnant with my second. It's days like these when my infertility adventure really sucks. Its all part of 'the plan' right? fate? get at me, fate. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being the strong friend, I want to be the pregnant friend.

Normally I'm flooded with weekly chores as soon as my high heels turn into bare feet when I arrive home from work. On this particular day, I went up to change into my running clothes my two little ducks following close behind, mind you, sorted laundry, made the bed and the three of us ended up lying on it. At that moment we all were reminded all we needed in this world, was right there on that bed. The hub turned to me saying "I love our little family" I smiled back and he says "we need like three more of them" glancing over at Lily concentrating hard while putting on said high heels. "I need a boy to help me do yard work when I'm old, we need more so they come visit us when we're old" we followed the heart warming conversation with "well, the way things are going we'll have one and we'll bug the SHIT out of her all the time since she's the only and she'll never come see us!" But he's right, our lives completely revolve around a three foot, twenty-eight pound pixie. Our lives forever, will be about her. Since the moment I found out I was pregnant, I stopped thinking of myself first, since she was the size of a poppy seed in my uterus, she's been my world. We want to watch more of our children grow and develop and inherit our traits. We want our children to come over for Sunday dinners, even if its cold by the time we eat because we're chasing grandchildren. We want to go to plays and recitals, footballs games and have so many activities going on that we barely have time to breathe. We need more kids.

I caught a commercial for a show on TLC called "Taboo", in a nutshell its a show about crazies who have weird (taboo) "addictions" or ways of life. The very first show on the upcoming season is of a lady who carries around a baby (like the life-like crying babies you get in Childhood education in school). She takes care of it literally like it is a live baby, it stays with her parents occasionally, she carries it from store to store in its car seat, she bathes it, burps it holy shit, this lady is CRAZY but then I got it. She can't have kids, she's a me. She's a crazy infertile like me, this is what infertility adventures do to you, make you carry around pretend babies because that's the closest your going to get to having one. She needs a baby so bad that she caters to a fake baby just to have that feeling at all. SO I get this lady's struggle. A lady.with a fake baby. I'm pretty sure on some level this makes me some kind of crazy but like I said, infertility and crazy go hand in hand. Her choice of dealing with infertility is carrying around a fake baby, my choice of dealing with it is by carrying around a Bud Light. To each their own.

Happy Monday!