the right kind of baby

FB "Friend": We're about to go in, hope its the right kind of baby
FB "Friend": its a boy *announces name* it is.
FB "Friend": Needless to say, I'm not too thrilled but I'll love him the same.

there are so many things wrong with this post:
How can it not be the right 'kind' of baby, you're getting a baby!
What? Exclamation points of excitement aren't needed after announcing the gender OR the name?
Again, how can you not be thrilled? YOU GET TO HAVE A FREAKING BABY!

Meanwhile, my chart looks like SHIT.

so bring on the rain

 Oh, 80 year old ovaried body, how you love to taunt me. FF sort of confirmed ovulation for CD 19 (the day I had a semi positive opk) I must have been catching the beginning of the LH surge and the end on CD21, I'm still not completely convinced, my chart looks A LOT different then my prior charts, my post-o temps seem to look like my average pre-o temps. The cross hairs are dotted because some of my fertility signs don't match up, I haven't had much CM of any kind this cycle--who knows, maybe change on my chart is good, maybe change is pregnancy. It shows me at 8DPO, so I could  test in 4 days, however, I won't. I know AF will show, she will. 



This cycle's chart

 

An 'average' cycle's chart

Anyway, I came up with an answer to my hubby's question of "how are you gonna come up with $1,600.00?" Get a part-time job. I can work a few weeknights or weekends to come up with the money, I have no problem sacrificing a little time for a few months to save up enough money for the IUI. He was not amused by this idea. My plate is full as it is without adding another job into the mix, but its not forever, its a few months. The hard part, actually finding one. I would actually really like to work at a tanning bed, so what if you have to clean up people's sweat, I've cleaned up worse and free tanning while I'm making some cash? Holla!

I'd really like to start focusing on exercising. I trained for and ran a 5k last March and it was the best I've felt, ever. I'm not an exerciser, unless you count the sprints from the couch to the fridge. I want to feel that good about myself again. I'd like to take some Body Pump or Zumba classes so I'm looking for some in my area that I can take around work and shuffling Lily around. I think focusing on myself for once in my life and getting in shape will help keep the ttc weight off my shoulders. I hate leaving Lily for another hour out of the day but a healthier me will lead to me being around longer.

I was having a tough day Monday, ttc wise, TJ wise, just an all around asstastic day. About a week before I had asked for a sign, any sign to help me to know I was being heard, or what's next? I had no idea if I would even realize 'the sign' if it slapped me in the face, but I was sitting at the stop light, heavy heart and tears in my eyes and a song came on, I'd never heard this song and the lyrics were so important and at that moment, I got my sign.