Friday nights and fairy fly zones

Well, shit. I'm feeling out and I'm still 8 days away from AF. FF changed my CH's to CD 23, not 19. My temperatures are looking really good but the only baby making we did after I thought I O'd was on CD 23, maybe that will be enough? Next cycle (because I'm convinced there will be one) I'm not using OPK's, they always give me positives and I think I O and give up the rest of the cycle. I feel like the protocol for this cycle was perfect, so that's what we'll do next month, minus opk's!

I channel Adriana Lima

My Friday night out was oh so fabulous. Do you ever have nights that you just don't quite want to end? it was one of those nights. The bar wasn't very crowded, my coke was sweetened with a little Jack D and we could get lost in the goodness of our conversation. The hub doesn't really get girls night and why I need it. Its not about going to a bar, or staying out really late. Its about putting that red lipstick on and my bombshell bra. Its about sipping my favorite drink and talking into the wee hours of the morning about things he's tired of hearing about.  It's about channeling your inner super model and getting told you look nice by someone else hell yeah I look nice, my boobs are fabulous tonight! Its about going our for a few hours while the rest of the world sleeps to clear your mind of all the clutter that has been taking up room for the past few months. Peace out clutter, I'm free!

I'm in the beginning stages of planning Lily's THIRD birthday! All things girly down to the fairy dust, pixie punch and a pink tutu! We're having it at the local park, right down the road from us--just have to hope for no rain, its in May and we usually have really beautiful VA weather that time of year. We'll have a table to paint fairy houses and I'm sending the kids home with little pails with seeds to plant their own fairy garden (LOVE Target's $1 bins, btw). She's really into this stuff this year, the past two years I really didn't do any planning, I let Chuck E Cheese handle it so I'm excited about making this as picture perfect as she wants it. After all, she is my perfect little pixie.

motown, bitch

There's good news and bad news. I'll start with the bad.
It monsoon rained here a few days last week and the UPS guy left my $80 Sperry's in a box on my front step without ringing the doorbell. Not only leaving them out ALL night, but the box was completely soaked and the shoes were damp, good thing they were too big and I have to exchange them anyway. Fail.
It's Monday morning and I love getting Monday morning emails from my mother bitching about something I did (or didn't do). Some times I really understand why people move far, far away. Fail.

And the good...I'm almost 99% sure I DID ovulate! Yay, body! I got a positive OPK on CD 18. This time change is really messing with my temp though, I'm not sure that it has any effect on it or not, so we'll see what it does over the next few days. I had good O signs, I never get O signs. And if I must say so myself, I had fabulous CM for the swimmers to glide in! This will be a good month.

My in laws took Lily for the very first time overnight Saturday. I always knew she would do fine with them, I just took so long because in the beginning she criticized me for everything. I felt so inadequate as a mother, so as payback, I never let her watch Lily. She's gotten better about the comments as Lily has gotten older and I've gotten better about handling the "I feel bones" comments. SO, it was time. Anyway, we went out with my brother and his fiance. We went to a great little Mexican restaurant first, had our 32oz Margs and it was still early. We went to this little dive bar down the street, however it wasn't really 'happening' so I googled The Pub which was in walking distance from where we. The main part of the restaurant is a reservation only place, very expensive and  high class, none of which fit my criteria, so we thought the pub would be fine. We walked around to the the back of the building (the pub was under the restaurant) and were greeted by this Big Black wanna-be bouncer. There was no cover charge until 9:30 and it was 9, so he checked our ID's and informed to us that it was "R&B night, Motown in heah" (he meant 'here' but had this overkill country accent he was working.) He kept repeating that it was Motown night what? because we're four stand-out-like-a-sore-thumb white people we don't like Motown? Let us show you how white people do Motown, bitch. He noticed my brother's pocket knife and held onto it because they weren't allowed, unsure that he was every going to see it again, my brother handed it over and in we went. Holy shit, this is like out of a movie. It was probably the shadiest place I've ever seen in my life. This underground pub consisted of old school sex booths (I'm not even sure what those are but that's the only way I can describe them) a few random people scattered throughout, we were definitely the minority age and color wise. The floor by the bar was old Corona cartons flattened out and the only decor was a giant 500 pound buffalo head. We went to the bathroom in pairs, that kind of shady. The band was setting up so we ordered drinks and sat down. The manager came by and let us know that at 9:30 we each had to pay a $10 cover charge but if we left by 9:45 then we didn't. We chugged the sex on the beach an whipped pinnacle and got the hell out of there, pocket knife included. We left there and went home to partake in some fabulous baby making!

If I don’t get off this roller coaster, I’m gonna be sick

Today should be O day! However, I'm not entirely convinced that it is :/ My OPK yesterday was negative and it normally is until O day, the only day I ever get a complete positive is on O day but I was hoping for a better line yesterday. I guess tomorrow mornings temp will tell! I was so ready for this cycle to be it, now I'm feeling discouraged. If I have an anovulatory cycle than I'll need to go in and have another HSG done before I start ovulating again, I just got done paying off the last one, in May of last year. I'll use my last opk this afternoon when I get home. Come on body, the set up this month is perfect! If I don't get a nice fertile egg this month I'm going to punch my ovaries!

I left work a little earlier Tuesday to take Lily to a DR appointment. We get signed in and sit on the 'sick' side, I hate that side. The side with rosie cheeked kids with fluids coming out of all of their orifices. Of course Lily has to play with the giant bus in the middle of the room, along with the bodily fluid faced kids. Luckily our wait was short this time. She ended up having a mild sinus infection so we left there and went directly to the pharmacy to pick up her antibiotic. A 20 minute wait there, not so bad when there is a blood pressure machine for your kid to use as a computer! I don't care if I was getting dirty looks from the pharmacy techs, would you rather her be screaming because she can't play with it? I think not. Anyway, we finally got on the road home about and hour after normal. I was speeding, I speed. I'm not a rule follower, my husband can't cook, my kid has to pee and my list of 'to-do's when I get home is enormous. Que police car. A police car that was pacing me for god knows how long before I happened to look in my rear view to blue lights. What kind of idiot speeds with a cop right behind her? I didn't even know they could stop you for 'pacing' with you, I thought it had to be on radar. Apparently not. He politely asked if there was a reason why I was speeding. because 55 is entirely too slow, my kids bladder is the size of a walnut, my phone is dead and I'm hungry. I responded with a lame "No, there really isn't" I would have gotten three tickets: Speeding, no seat belt (yes I know, I'm horrible!) and my drivers license hasn't been updated with my new address BUT he ran out of tickets. Yes, you heard that right. The cop. ran out. of tickets. He then proceeded to follow me all the way to town, another 20 minutes away down a two lane road. I wanted to speed anyway. What was he going to do? Pull me over again? None the less, I was one lucky girl!

Well, I'm off to run a few errands, pick up some ingredients for a bangin' dessert I'm making for our friends who are coming over for pizza tonight and get a little gift for my brothers gf's birthday. We're celebrating at Pancho's with 32 oz margs. If this cycle is a failed one, at least I'll have a belly full of comfort food and maybe be de-sensitized from the margs. Or maybe I can be celebrating in my own way for my body cooperating with me.

"you'll never guess who's pregnant"

Not me.

My SIL's sister, Ms. unstable, gypsy soul, on again off again ufc wanna be boyfriend, kids are a financial burden, I don't want any" is pregnant. Seriously? seriously. Maybe I should give her lifestyle a try, ward off any future financial burdens I may have and maybe, just maybe it will happen for me. Lily was in our future financial burden's room today and we were talking about brothers and sisters and she asked where her sister is? Heaven. He/she is in heaven. In heaven with God and TJ and we need to tell them to send him/her down to us. While Ms gypsy get a surprise, unwanted baby, our much wanted, already loved baby is still in heaven, waiting for us. Yay, me. This is the infertile club, the worst club you could ever be in.

I got my positive opk on CD 21 so I o'd between then and today. Hubby and I got all our bases covered so now we're onto the TWW, the longest two weeks of every cycle. Hubby changed the brakes in my car while I painted the hallway upstairs. We had a pretty low-key day of daunting household chores and of course, more potty training. Its, going, going better than last time but with out a doubt is far from over. When she wears her big girl panties I put a waterproof pad on the couch to avoid pee soaked couches, it totally looks like a puppy pad but whatever. Panties work better than pull-ups, at least she realizes she's peed.

Tomorrow I'm making valentines cupcakes and cards with my little valentine. Followed by dinner with my family, a great way to end my weekend.

When you try your best but you don't succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need

Suck it, yesterday. I have been to FOUR different dollar stores in search for my OPK's for this week/next. Three of the four didn't carry them and I get to the fourth (which I KNOW carries them) and I see a 25% off sticker, sweet, wait--are all the ttc'ers ovulating this week? There were none left and the 105 year old cashier a.) had no idea what OPK's were and b.) informed me that they wouldn't get another shipment until next week. Thanks, moses, for that.

Fast forward to last night--I took Lily to meet the Puppy (whom I've already named Ava!) She's interested in her but she's two, so she didn't really have any attachment, unlike myself who completely fell in love with her! I called the hub on the way home to share my excitement and he's just not feeling it. I just wanted to cry, I can actually control this and he's just saying no? If anything he should know that telling me I CAN'T have something only makes me want it more. We've got a hold on her until Thursday at 5, so I've got two days to do my hardest convincing.

Happy Groundhog Day! My grandmother actually lives in Punxsutawney (yes, people really do live there!) Groundhog Day is actually like a week long celebration up there, we've never been before because its so crazy but one year we're going to! Groundhog Phil predicted an early Spring--I hope he's right!