I was totally jammin’ to a newbie song on the radio, like windows down, music loud, head bobbin jammin’. I got to work and youtubed it because when I find a new song I play the shit out of it until I can no longer stand it and it was JUSTIN BEIBER. I was all omg, am I really madly in love with a Bieber song? This can’t be happening. It really happened and now I’m secretly excited for Lily to like him so I can secretly love going to his concerts. However, I sang the chorus so much that she told me to stop, that she didn’t like that song. This means I have to refrain from my obnoxious belts of “IF I WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND!” for a while and let her hear the actual song herself and maybe buy her a milkshake while doing so, that way she will like him.
In all fairness, it is glorious. Do you ears a favor and listen to it.*****
Easter was a little different this year; I celebrated with Lily on Saturday doing all things Easter and saw her for a little on Sunday. While I know it’s still hard for her to really understand exactly what’s going on, she is adjusting better by the day. I’m trying to mend relationships with those that have fallen apart, I’m trying to work through the massacre that was January and the crazy pills that caused it, I’m looking towards the future, I’m done looking back…and to some people’s amazement, I’m standing on my own two feet. It feels good. It’s a weird feeling, I saw a thank you card that a lady friend sent my husband for flowers and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about it, but it made me glad. Glad that someone appreciates him like he should be appreciated, glad that he can and will be happy again. I want him to be happy, he deserves it. Everyone does. I know it doesn’t come that easy, I know there will be more tears shed, I know there is still a long road ahead and I know that the waiting is the hardest part but it will all be worth it in the end, things have a funny way of working out like that. You have to follow your heart, it won’t let you down. No matter what people think of your choices, only you know what you feel in your heart. You are your only judge and like the Lorax says, “those who matter, don’t mind and those who mind, don’t matter”. When you know better, you do better. You don’t have to hold yourself hostage for who you used to be or what you used to do. I haven’t made the best decisions, or considered other people’s feelings as much as I should but I’m a work in progress. I have a thriving little girl, a home with people who love me, friends who are my biggest support, a job I love and wine, of course. I am blessed.
