"It's like a storm, that cuts a path. It breaks your will, it feels like that" Infertility.sucks. And that's exactly what it feels like. I'm finding it really hard to be down on a day like today. I still haven't gotten CH's on FF and its looking like I haven't ovulated this cycle and I don't know that I will. This whole infertility roller coaster of a ride has me dangling at the top upside down, you know the ride that's 50 years old and wooden and every time someone gets on it, it gets stuck. I'm stuck, in limbo, hanging here at a point in this struggle in which I have no more control over. Its this 'in between' point that gets at me the most, in between either ovulating or starting a new cycle, the dreaded in between. I needed today. I can't be sad today. I just look out the window or watch my little pixie drawing on the driveway with her little curls glowing when the sun hits her just so. It is beautiful and it reminds me of all the beautiful things in my life. Its one of those days where all chores on your 'to-do' list can wait, that laundry will be there tomorrow, you have to be outside. The windows are open and the house smells spring fresh, we're finishing up our usual Friday lunch together that we ate outside today, my flowers are blooming and you can smell them inside when the windows are open, my favorite spring candle is flickering in the hallway and the ipod country playlist is on shuffle. The grass has just been cut and you can hear all the neighbors following suit. We walked to the pool knowing full and well that its not opening yet but we keep going, just in case. I can't wait to see my girls face when they finally do open the pool, pure excitement. I can't be sad today, I have so much to be thankful for, all I have to do is look around. I need these days like I need air. I'm breathing it all in, this day and this feeling won't last long. I'm going out and absorbing life and a ton of sunshine today. Today is beautiful.
Adorable! i LOVE this song!
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