Post-op went great however I was slightly afraid that I was going to bleed to death. I didn't know you were supposed to bleed at all after the LAP but I've been bleeding for twelve days. TWELVE DAYS. Dr R didn't seem too concerned about it and said once it does stop, the next few months will be great for conceiving since he cleaned my pipes in the LAP. Oh yeah doc, about that...
I'm on happy pills. There, I said it. Big fat happy elephant out of the room. After the separation my mother was convinced that the choices I was making and whatnot where the stem of who knows what and that I should see a doctor. And hey, what do I know, maybe it could give me clarity. Or at the least help me with my ADD. or just make me more awesome. I've been on them for a full week, the doctor said it could take two fulls weeks to notice anything. I think I wake up every morning hoping to notice something, like "Unicorns are dancing on rainbows outside of my window!" BUT I'm a little more apprehensive about the side effects. I'm not tryin' to go all columbine and freak out on everyone. And I'm not trying to get fat OR lose any weight. I'm all for getting more awesome, though. I'm not clinically depressed or crazy well, I am crazy but not THAT kind of crazy but it should help me gather my thoughts, focus on them and figure out what in the hell it is that I want to do with my life.
*****
MY HUSBAND WENT ON A DATE. I have Lily Friday nights so when he dropped her off I asked what he was getting into and he was coy in saying he was going to dinner. A dinner with a chick. I relayed the message "what happens at your date, stays at your date. Except herpes, that shit comes back!" We're both entering a dating world, a world we never really experienced. We met in high school. We got married at 18. I haven't seen another penis in 10 years except in movies or pornos. (act like you were surprised) We have no idea what the hell we're doing. At some points I think we both get a little excited to experience this realm of new things, new people and places and sometimes at the end of the night when we're both laying in separate beds, in separate houses, I wonder if we're both thinking about the normalcy's of marriage that we miss. Who knows, we could be that couple that separates for six months or a year and come back to realize the grass isn't greener on the other side, its greener where you water it. And that the making it on your own, splitting time with your kid shit is crazy OR we could both find whatever it is we're looking for in someone else OR my biggest fear, I realize what I had and it be too late. I have no idea what is in store for us, I'm not sure where my journey is leading me, leading us but I'm learning if you want to live life, you have to live it free.
Glad things are going well for you. Curious to see where your journeys take you all and know that we are always just a hop, jump and skip away if you need us :)
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