I’m getting my last two wisdom teeth pulled today, dentist style. My first two hadn’t come all the way through yet but rubbed against my cheek so I went to the oral surgeon, was put under and they were removed. I’m horribly nervous about having them pulled from my face and being totally coherent. I know it’s not a big deal, my hub’s 80 year old granny just had it done but the dentist office always gives me anxiety anyway so I’m totally stressing out about it so I made my self feel better by doing a little consignment shopping (best little shop, ever: Déjà vu) ordering a pair of shoes that I’ve been wanting for awhile and going ten minutes out of my way to the nearest Starbuck’s this morning. The hub failed to share the comfort in my anxiety ridden spree but whatever, I’ll be laying there with my mouth cracked open, ipod on and dreaming about my purchases!
I feel like anybody in the history of everybody has asked when we’ll be having another baby this week, the babysitter, the bank teller, the client. I’m just going to start saying that we’ll try when Lily starts school, that gives me a two year comfort zone to play with and if it does happen before then, surprise!, a big fat magical bfp! My MIL tries to understand, she’s so naive to all the ttc stuff (wish I could be!) She knows we have ‘issues’ and that I’ve had a few procedures but still manages to call because there was a segment on the local news channel about losing weight for fertility, no matter the fact that I might be 100 pounds). Before we knew I wasn’t ovulating I was only getting like 3-4 periods a year. She laughed. Not like a little laugh, like an outright, abrupt in-yo-face laugh. She then went on about how she’d love to only have a few periods a year, sure, its WONDERFUL having no periods and no babies, go, me! She also mentions how all her husband had to do was LOOK at her and she’d be pregnant, thanks, again for that. I don’t really like to talk to them much about it, after I found out I was pregnant with Lily, my hub told me he had told his dad we were ttc. Every time I saw his dad for the SIXTEEN months we were trying, he asked when we were having a baby, he knew, knew that we were having trouble and still asked that question every time. I know you shouldn’t hold grudges but I hold a mean one towards him for that.
I was scanning FB this morning and came across the following blog, be warned, you will cry. (http://www.kandjstaats.blogspot.com/) I cried, like and idiot in my office chair. This couple JUST lost their 4 month old baby girl for no known reason, she just stopped breathing. Suffering a loss is the most un-imaginable thing you could ever go through. I know with my loss, I never got to see or hear that baby but it was still my baby, I loved it the second those two pink lines showed up. It makes me sick to think how you could hold your baby in your arms for four months and have to lay her to rest. I pray for this family and for them to find peace.
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