I'm alive.
I'm stable.
I'm trying to find a center in all of this.
And, I'm broken.
I've got an overwhelming amount of support, from friends, my family and a few people I barely know but I've also got an overwhelming amount of judgement from people whom I thought, were family. I carry the last name but in a time like this its clear, that's all that I carry. The separation was not a legal one, no documents were signed, nor was it a final decision. It was a period of time in which we were to figure out the direction of our lives, be it together or separate. I know that I'm not the only one hurting and I don't give a shit that anyone knows what I'm going through, it just can't be assumed that I'm not going through nothing. There are always two sides to stories and its fair to say, you should hear both before making an informed decision on someone. I'm faulted, I know that. I've made mistakes, I know that too but I'm also not using FB as a way to vent how you feel about 'family' That's what blogs are for, duh! I will not be pushed into a corner. Push me and I push back. I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to mend broken relationships with people whom are so easy to write you off, its all good as long as your what people like that want, if not, it's like they never knew you. I will not be a silent victim and I will stay true to myself. The word cannot be taken back after spoken and the echoes of such words, will always sting clear.
I understand that these types of things would occur if parting ways was our final decision, I would be prepared for that. I understand that as my husbands family, they will stand behind him. However, I was completely blindsided and am left feeling if that part of the family could ever really re-coop from this, or will they hold a grudge? Can I ever really forget things that have been said? Can we all move on as a whole if my marriage works? My family supports us both, in whatever we decide. They will help us get through it or over it.
I'm stuck, and the treacherous waters beg to pull me under.
hello
3 days ago
You are in my thoughts. Family, by blood or marriage, sucks sometimes. I wouldn't waste too much of your precious energy on them. Take care of YOU, because they aren't going to do it. I hope you find some peace and happiness soon.
ReplyDeleteThinking about you. Sometimes, family, your's or his can be your best friend or your worst enemy. I can totally understand them hurting you, but I hope that you can put them aside and focus on the issue in front of you at least for the time while you and Erik are trying to decide what's best for you all. Decide what's best for the two of you and let the chips fall where they may. The ones that love and care about you all will still be there, and the ones that don't will shy away, just try not to get too worried about them, you will always have people in your life like that.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Keep your head up!
ReplyDelete