lets get it on

This is O week, I will O this week, by Thursday! That's a great thing about Clomid, you actually know when you're going to ovulate. Lot's of sex and butt propped up on a pillow this week. Don't call after 8 'cause you know what I'll be doin'!

It took one month to get the hub's s/a consult set up and is going to take another month for him to get a second appointment for the actual s/a. Seriously? There is one, ONE freaking urologist in two counties, he shares his time between the offices. I mean, I know a s/a isn't a life or death situation but has the DR ever met at crazy infertile--it is a life or death situation! Hub went in for the consult and the DR asked him if we're doing it on the right days, 14 days after my cycle. Whoa, whoa, whoa, its a good thing I wasn't there. Hey Doc, are you aware that we've been trying for 17 months? even accidents happen in that time frame, are you also aware that I'm more in tune with my cervical mucus and ovulation then could be classified as 'normal' not to mention I've never ovulated on CD14 a day in my life so yes, doctor, we are doing it on the right days. They sent him home with his good deeds cup and a number to schedule an appointment. I thought he could go in anytime, any day and drop the sample off. Wrong again. You have to make an appointment to meet with the DR, I guess he analyzes it on the spot. Problem is, analyzing hours are between 9-10AM, who's work schedule does that fit around? no one. We scheduled one for April 5th at 9:30 but we put on a 'cancelation' list, right, so they're going to call one day at 12:30 and have him do his deed in his work bathroom while Jimmy Brown takes a crap in the stall next to him? Don't see that panning out. I guess he'll just have to make up 3 hours of leave or just take 3 hours. Oh, the many sacrifices or hub's have to make, blahh!

I took a Personal Health Assessment Survey last night for our insurance company, we get a bonus for answering a bunch of useless questions, you know, the ones that you answer "Yes, everything in my life is perfect!" to. Very first question, "Are you pregnant?" Thanks questionnaire, for that. Very next question, "How is your mental state?" Well, after that first question, on a scale from 1-crazy infertile, ding ding, crazy infertile it is! Suck balls, survey! I wish they had a "was this helpful" box on the form, my answer would have been: "You know what would be helpful? Infertility coverage! Coverage so that I can make the counties next urologist!"

Been crazy cooped up all winter long so we tried a new restaurant in our town. It just opened in the fall and I was craving a little summer, it was a nice night, mild in the 60's and I needed beer and a good bbq. I loved this place, it's small and more of a bar than anything, It had about ten tables. It's right off of main street by the train station, so you can hear the train go by occasionally. They played loud country music and had a really nice 'down home' atmosphere. I was about half way through my bbq when a song came on. This was the song that was played at my dear friend's funeral. I hadn't heard this song since that awful October day we had to say goodbye. The tears came instantly as I was reminded that the last time I heard this song, was the last time I would ever see him. In the middle of the crowded restaurant, I cried. I couldn't stop. For those three minutes, it was like everything was in slow motion, the words penetrated into my soul as I recounted the final hours of his service. The hurt and pain flooded from my eyes. I know songs can do this, they connect you to a certain time, place or person in your life. I always hear certain song that remind me of places, or the song we danced to at our wedding but this, this was different. This song is directly connected to my soul. I would attach it, but I just can't. Maybe one day, but just not yet.